


Do. Not. Want.

by tetra26 (batty_gal)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou
Genre: F/M, Humor, Love Potion/Spell, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-22
Updated: 2008-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-11 16:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batty_gal/pseuds/tetra26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of Anissina's experiments causes Wolfram to fall madly in love with Yozak (and Gwendal with Anissina). Nothing is safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do. Not. Want.

**Author's Note:**

> Do. Not. Want.

"Oh, it works! It really works!" exclaimed an excited Günter, who had just observed Anissina's latest experiment on Gwendal.

"I declare this experiment a success?" Anissina replied, as she escaped from Gwendal's clutches. She had concocted a potion that she entitled "I-Only-Have-Eyes-For-You-kun". The concoction, when exposed to someone's skin, was supposed to make that person fall in love with the first person they laid eyes on afterwards.

Anissina had Günter apply it to Gwendal, fully expecting it would make him fall for Günter. However, because Günter _suspiciously_ moved out of Gwendal's view at the crucial moment, Gwendal was now openly declaring his love for her and she had to keep a few steps away from him lest he attempt to slap her again.

"I must find His Majesty and try this at once!" Günter replied passionately, as he took a vial and fled from the room.

Anissina's cry of "Wait!" was muffled by Gwendal using her distraction to grab and kiss her, and she was unable to warn Günter in time about any potential fallout or side effects.

* * *

"Three years of training, and you _still_ don't know how to properly use a sword," Wolfram said, exasperatedly. "I'm beginning to think you'll never master the art, too."

"Aw Wolfram, ease up," grumbled Yuuri. "I'm tired, that's all. You always wear me out."

The two were practicing sword fighting, and had been at it for about an hour. Both men were sweating, their clothing almost completely soaked due to the activity combined with the sweltering mid-day heat.

"I suppose we can stop here for today," Wolfram said, and sheathed his sword.

Yuuri did the same with Morgif, who moaned in protest of being put away. He smiled at his friend. "How about a bath?"

As the two men walked away from the courtyard, they bumped into Conrart and Yozak, who were making their way to it. They exchanged pleasantries (or, in Wolfram and Yozak's case, insults), and were about to continue in their respective directions.

Unfortunately, they were interrupted by a very excited Günter, who was running in their direction.

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty! I have something I want you to try – whoops!"

Günter managed to trip over his long robe in his haste to get to the Maou, and the fluid from the vial of Anissina's concoction splashed – right in Wolfram's face.

"Aaagh, my eyes! It burns!" Wolfram screamed.

"Quick, take him to that water pump over there!" Conrart said, and Yuuri obliged.

He grabbed Wolfram's hand and led him over to the water pump. The Maou helped splash his friend's face with water.

"What was that stuff, Günter?" Yuuri asked, still helping Wolfram to flush his eyes.

"Ah..." Günter started.

"Well?" Conrart asked. "What was it?"

"It was one of Anissina's concoctions," Günter replied in a small voice, which immediately caused everyone to groan.

"What kind?" Yozak asked.

Günter hesitated, before guilt led him to answer. "Oh Your Majestyyyy, I never meant for it to end up this way. I was supposed to tell you about it and then rub it into your skin, then you were supposed to realize your true feelings for meeeeee," Günter said, hysterically. "It wasn't supposed to go on Wolfram! Whatever you do, don't let him look at anyone, especially not you!"

"Why not?" Yuuri asked, curiously.

"Because he'll fall in love with the first person that he looks at!" Günter said.

Yozak, who was beyond amused, turned to make fun of Wolfram's plight and imply that he'd make Wolfram open his eyes and look at someone he hates.

He didn't have to joke about it, for Wolfram's eyes were already open – and he was staring right at him.

Yozak, who was rarely terrified by _anything_, watched in horror as Wolfram's expression went from anger, to fear, to shock, and finally to unabashed _lust_.

"Conrart!" Yozak nervously called out to his friend, who was lightly chastising Günter for attempting to put a love spell on the Maou.

"Yes," Conrart said, and looked at Yozak.

Yozak didn't have to tell him what was wrong, for Wolfram had moved over to him and pulled his face down into a kiss.

Conrart, Günter, and Yuuri watched the exchange, in shock.

Yozak, who was also shocked, couldn't even break the contact – not even when Wolfram slipped him some tongue.

"Wol- Wolfram!" Yuuri cried out. "Do you realize what you're doing!"

"Yozak, push him away!" Conrart said.

Yozak continued to stand, still unable to move and comprehend just what he should have been doing in the situation.

Finally, Yuuri grabbed Wolfram's arm and pulled him away from Yozak.

"Let me go, I love him!" Wolfram shouted, still in his love-daze. He pushed Yuuri away from him and grabbed at Yozak again, ready to reclaim his mouth as before.

Yozak, however, had shaken himself out of his brain-stupor, and moved out of Wolfram's way, grabbing him in a bear-hug from behind.

"Alright, no more of that, kid. I'm not into you like that," Yozak replied. He couldn't believe his bad luck. Of all people for Wolfram von Bielefeld to fall in love with due to some silly potion, it had to be him.

"But I love you! I love you with all of my heart! We belong together, for now and forever!" Wolfram said, and attempted to squirm out of Yozak's firm hold.

Yuuri, Conrart and Günter were stunned. Wolfram's words had so much passion that if they hadn't known the circumstances behind them, they would have believed them to be true.

"Yozak," Wolfram said.

"Yes, kid?" he replied, warily.

"Let's go up to my room. I want to show you how much I love you by..."

"Okay, that's enough!" Yuuri interrupted quickly, not willing (or wanting) to hear the rest of Wolfram's sentence. "Let's go see Anissina about all of this before it gets further out of control."

* * *

"What do you mean there's no cure!" Yuuri and Yozak exclaimed.

"I didn't say there was no cure, I said there was no cure _yet_. I'll work on one, _trust_ me," Anissina replied, as she tried to get out of Gwendal's hold on her.

"But this can't go on!" Yozak cried as he pushed Wolfram away from him.

"Just give me a few days, or a few weeks," she said. "I'll come up with something!"

"Fine, but I'm out of here until then. I can't stay around this kid when he's acting this way," Yozak grumbled.

"No! I won't let you leave me! I'll kill myself before I let my love go!" Wolfram shouted, practically in hysterics.

"Yozak, maybe you should stick around until this is taken care of," Conrart said quickly, alarmed at his brother's proclamation.

Yuuri and Günter nodded, also worried about Wolfram's suicide threat.

"Fine, I'll stay" Yozak agreed. "But keep him away from me!"

"Easier said than done," Yuuri said as he watched Wolfram gleefully jump into the protesting spy's lap and kiss him again.

* * *

Yozak was dreaming.

He was dreaming that he was laid out, on a bed – with someone's hands all over his body. The sensations were delightful, and he heard himself moaning out his appreciation.

"Do you like this?" a soft voice said, sexily.

"Yes, please continue," Yozak mumbled out. The voice sounded familiar, but it was a dream so he didn't really care.

He dreamed he felt someone's lips on his chest, lightly kissing it. He could almost feel a soft tongue tentatively licking at his nipple.

He loved dreams like these that felt so real. He wouldn't trade them for anything. He sighed as the dream-tongue trailed down his chest, and moaned when he felt the dream-hand caress his most sensitive area through his nightclothes.

"Can I take it out?" the voice asked, and Yozak felt a gentle squeeze through his pants.

"Oh yes, you may," he half-mumbled, half-panted "You may do anything you want to it..."

It was then that he recognized the voice.

Wolfram.

Yozak's eyes shot open, and he stared down in horror at the young man who had his hand down his pants. What he thought had been a dream had really been happening, and he did the only thing a man would do in that situation.

He screamed like a little girl.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, a still-hysterical Yozak and a bound Wolfram were downstairs with the others, who had awakened out of their sleep.

"Calm down, Yozak," Conrart said, gently.

"Calm down? Calm down? I was just _molested_ in my sleep by your little brother, how can I calm down?" Yozak said, furiously. "Oh man, I was this close to... Oh man, I don't even want to remember," he said, and shuddered.

"What was so wrong with it? Did I not pleasure you?" Wolfram asked, in a desperate voice.

"Oh no..." Conrart started, and rubbed his temples – which was what Gwendal would probably do in the situation. That is, if Anissina didn't have him in a headlock for copping a feel of her breasts.

"My beloved Yozak, why didn't you let me finish you off? I'm very good at...

"Aaaah! Let's not talk about any of this!" Yuuri exclaimed. He did _not_ want to know how far things went between the two. And – most importantly – he didn't want to know how good Wolfram was at... whatever. He also didn't want to know how Wolfram _figured_ he was good at... whatever. If he had all that information, whenever Wolfram got cured Yuuri knew that there would be no way he wouldn't think about all of this while in bed with...

"Aaah!" Yuuri exclaimed again, and pulled at his hair.

"Your Majesty, what's wrong?" Yozak asked.

"Nothing. Nothing! Let's just talk about curing these two!"

"Well, if I can manage to get some free time away from _him_, I can work a little faster," Anissina said.

"I will not be separated from my beloved Anissina – I shall surely destroy anyone who would attempt to part us!" Gwendal choked out as Anissina tightened her grip around his neck.

"Günter, please help me tie him up as well!" Anissina said, and Günter quickly moved to do so.

"I can't stay here, I simply can't!" a still-shaken Yozak said more to himself than to anyone else.

Unfortunately Wolfram heard him, and started to cry. "My love, why would you leave me – the one who is devoted to you in mind, body, and spirit? I shall surely die if you were to go – I would not eat, nor would I sleep. I would simply waste away without the one I love."

"You are engaged to the Maou! That's the one you love, not me!" Yozak practically yelled.

Yuuri squawked at Yozak's words. "Leave me out of this!"

Wolfram looked at Yuuri, back at Yozak, and at Yuuri again. "Why would I love someone like _him_ instead of you? He isn't the type of man for me, _you_ are. There's nothing about him that I find attractive! He's short, scrawny, and isn't much of a man at all!"

Every last insult hit Yuuri hard, and he was momentarily stunned. "Short..." he repeated.

"Aah, Yuuri, Wolfram didn't mean..." Conrart started.

"Scrawny..." Yuuri parroted.

"Listen, kid, he's under the influence of that stuff. Don't let it get to you," Yozak said, quickly.

"Not much of a man at all..." Yuuri said, still dazed.

"I don't know what _you all_ are talking about, I meant every last word. Yozak is the man I love, he's _everything_ in a man I desire" Wolfram huffed.

"Oh no..." Conrart and Yozak said, simultaneously – and shook their heads.

"Not attractive at all..." Yuuri said, his voice now sounding eerily robotic.

"Not at all," Wolfram chimed in, his voice annoyingly chipper. "In fact, you're rather homely."

"Conrad?"

"Yes, Yuuri?"

"Gag him. _Now_."

* * *

After three days of working straight, Anissina thought that perhaps she had the cure. She called the others to her lab just to make sure.

"Alright, what I need you all to do is to bind and blindfold both Gwendal and Wolfram, and we will see if this cure works."

The men all complied, pushing both Gwendal and Wolfram in a seat and tying them down. After struggling with the two, they finally managed to get them blindfolded as well.

"Well, here goes nothing!" she said.

Anissina took the new formula over to the two. She first rubbed some into Gwendal's skin, and then Wolfram's.

"Okay, Yozak! I need you to stand in front of Wolfram and I'll stand in front of Gwendal. The rest of you move out of their line of sight. If I've done this correctly, they will each look at us and fall _out_ of love..."

"I will die before I stop loving you, my lovely red maiden," Gwendal said, passionately.

"Nothing can thwart my love for you, Yozak! Not even death!" Wolfram said, equally passionate.

"What is it with you two and vowing to love till death?" Yuuri said, utterly annoyed. He was still not over Wolfram's insults from the few days prior – and had stalked around the castle like a dejected cat since then. He was unwilling to deal with the reason why he was so bothered by Wolfram's rejection, nor would he acknowledge whatever it was he felt when Wolfram stayed under Yozak and continued to declare his undying love to him.

Anissina slowly removed the blindfold from a now silent Gwendal.

He blinked, and looked at her – and didn't say a word.

"Well, Gwendal, are you alright?" she asked in anticipation.

She watched as he blushed.

"Oh no," he said in a mournful voice.

"I take it that it works?" she said, relieved. "Yozak, please remove Wolfram's blindfold."

Yozak slowly removed the cloth from Wolfram's face.

Wolfram looked up at Yozak, his face blank.

"Well, you alright, kid?" Yozak asked, cautiously.

Wolfram was about to say yes, but the realization of all the things he had done over the past few days hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Aaah!" he yelled, looking at Yozak like he was the scariest thing in existence.

Yozak sighed in relief. "I guess he's fine as well."

* * *

After a few days of sulking in embarrassment, both Gwendal and Wolfram found their former "love interests" and apologized profusely.

Well... as profusely as either of the stubborn men could.

From Gwendal, there was a grunted "I'm sorry", which amused Anissina. She coerced him into making it up to her by participating in yet another of her experiments - when ended prematurely when he stormed out of her office with a newly-grown pair of breasts and a voice as high as Greta's.

As for Wolfram, he came across Yozak – who he still couldn't look in the eye – and mumbled an apology. Yozak, who was just as embarrassed as Wolfram, mumbled an "okay" back. Neither of the men could get it out of their heads that they had been seconds away from having sex with each other a few nights prior.

Wolfram was still in the hot seat with Yuuri, however. It was an interesting reversal of roles. Wolfram apologized for the things he said to Yuuri during that time, and the Maou dismissed him with a wave of his hand and an "It's alright". But Wolfram knew that it was far from alright, however.

Wolfram could tell that Yuuri was still offended by what he had said because he wasn't good at hiding it. For starters, every time Wolfram glanced fearfully in Yozak's direction, Yuuri would ask him sweetly whether or not he perhaps had hidden feelings for Yozak – which Wolfram vehemently denied.

And when Wolfram just happened to look at a tall, red-headed man in town, Yuuri pointed out that of _course_ he would look at such a man since that was his type after all – which set Wolfram in denial-and-apology mode all over again.

If Wolfram didn't know better, he'd think that Yuuri was jealous.

Wait a minute. Yuuri, jealous?

Nah.

**Author's Note:**

> I know the whole Love Potion thing has been done in every fandom whatsoever, but it was still fun.


End file.
